You guys like this music/poem I made?The Seventh Upgrade! =)

[DirtyKiller]

But lol is it better a bit now or still can change it to better? T_T

[DirtyKiller]

Lol ok soon I´ll be posting the Goddamm Sixth Upgrade. Omg I didnt know a music/poem to make was so hard O_o.
Anyways I guess I do it for the girl I love.
Ok I´ve started working on this and I made some stanzas already. xD
Edit: Done finished the sixth upgrade. Opinion guys.
Specially Bartimaeus rofl. xD
Edit2: Give a overall score from 0 too 20 please! =P

Spoiler:

Don´t make me suffer
Stop making me sad, I wont step back yet
I love you so much too just forget
And I believe in you from the beggining and I´m not alone.

I don´t know why you think I´ve abandoned my precious one
But I never let you from that day until now
Why now that my heart is crying tears of blood
And my heart as yet so much to give to my love

I can be hurt, but I haven´t lost my faith
Hear my heart beating and look to the scar in my heart that is so deep within
Because I may not make it to hear your voice and your heart beat again
I never cared so much what you wanted to say, so tell it one more time
Tell it to me again so I can remember it once again in my mind.

But what I feel is more then a dream, a note that simply explains
What my heart Is greatly feeling for you, and I may need all these days
I feel a strong chemistry for you in my heart, and may yet be all part of those broken tears
All this time I was looking for my true love, and I don´t think I´ve lost all my faith in all I believe

Plenty days can´t fulfill what I´ve lost in these months
Crying is no use, go to take the next boat, because I need my special friend
If I´ve cried don´t let it make you more sad inside
Because I´ve got everything I´ve always wanted here on this night.

Because If I can believe then this love isn´t lost yet
If I continue to love my girl, then my heart will dry out of blood
Because if you know this blood is my pain
I haven´t yet stopped thinking about this love that keeps torturing me.

We made promisses too each other but what now if I can´t be with the one
Your my love, the special key that I´ve made, I will lose my control
If I can´t see you again, the adrenaline will be more strong
Your my inner strenght, your what gives my heart it´s forbidden love.

I have always loved your smile, so keep smiling for me if you can I will give you a kiss
So that you can´t forget I went searching on the world for my twin soul
And so many times I can´t yet forget, I went for searching for this love
If you think I haven´t loved you enough, you have been lying for yourself.

If you don´t wanna lose my love, then stop saying these small lies
If your crying, then something isn´t working well with us
You may need some time, to clean up your mind
I rather prefer prefer you ok, then confused all the time.

Some people said this love between us would end within some time
I don´t these people feel what we feel
I may start to think they haven´t felt true love
You see my face and you see a tide of tears on my eyes.

All the words that I find to express my love cant seem to be enough
Yet I miss the words to express what I truly feel for my love
Until now the words I can find can´t be yet enough
How many times I was at your side when no one more cared
Look at my face and you will see my eyes crying tears of pain.

I always understanded what you wanted to express
But I never tought this would be how things would end
You never saw these things I´ve made to be so strongly enloved
We are connected to this world with some kind of love chains.

I pray God for all the time that I can be with my biggest love
You better change your toughs, I can´t see what you were thinking these last days
Because if your mine, I haven´t lost my strenght and neither my faith
If you know what true love means, then you know I will not say goodbye.

From all the things I´ve wanted
I wanted to be with you
My sweet Verónica, do you get it now?
I never lost my faith there is a way I can love you somehow.

I love this girl so much, I never let myself drown
Good things can only happen once in life,
If you believe and trust in me they will become a amazing dream that came true
All the things in the world that try to stop me, won´t stop me from being with my real love.

[Bartimaeus]

Well, let's just say that it's good that you're not giving the text to her, otherwise, she'd probably be embarassed,

There are some parts that sound awkward, but overall, it sounds good. However, you better be a smooth talker, if not, that'll be a problem.

[DirtyKiller]

Lol I talk english even better then Portuguese. So thats not a problem. XD
But lol give a overall score from 0 too 20 please! xP

[Bartimaeus]

0 to 20? Okay...

I'll say about...for a beginner poet...14/20.

That's about 7/10,

[DirtyKiller]

Darn I must work harder for a 20!

[DirtyKiller]

Bump.
Ok I´m already working on the next upgrade I feel a bit more inspired to make a perfect music/poem because this means alot for me If I can make her happy!
So or I post it today later or more likely tomorrow.... xD
Edit:Ok here are some stanzas at least 3 by now! If you see a Check!, then dont worry it means those were done and are better then the last upgrade
Edit2: Posted some more stanzas man this is hard to get a score of 20! XD
Edit3: Still working on this but its getting way better!
Edit4: Ok I have made a uber upgrade the seventh one seems better. Give a score guys all opinion counts! xD

Spoiler:

Don't make me suffer
Stop making me sad, If I was in hell I wouldn't be so scared
I love you so much too simply just forget
I believe on you since the beggining and I know you won't make me rise and fall.

I don't know why you think I've abandoned you at all
But I never forgot your mine even if you think im crazy enough
And I feel my heart is dying and crying tears of blood
Yet my heart as so much to give to my love.

I can be hurt, but I haven't lost all my faith
Hear my heart beating so fast and give me a kiss so that it can rest
Thousand tears that can rip my soul
Have got my broken home.

But what I feel is more then a dream, a note that simply explains
Why was my heart broken in these last few days
I feel something for you, I am saying the truth
All this time I was looking for my true love, and then I had found you

Plenty days can't fulfill what I've lost in these months I was so alone
I wanna take you to another world, where we can be together and more
If you have saw my eyes crying don't let them make your martyr of tears
Because I've got everything I've always wanted here even tought my fears.

Because If I can believe all the times I've waited
Where worth, just by holding you, even if my heart was drenched in so many tears
Because if you know all my life had an opinion
I havent yet stopped thinking about you and you are wrong in so many reasons.

We promised something so strong that no one can deny
If you call me crazy, I will lose my control
If I can´t see you no more, the adrenaline will be more strong
You are the one for who I sing this love song.

And this is somehow I feel when I ignore the words you spoke to me
Somehow I can´t reasemble all these memories
And so many times I can't yet forget, I went for searching for this love
If you think I haven't loved you enough, lying to yourself is all you have done.

If you don't wanna lose my love, then stop hurting my heart
If your crying, I may be in deep sorrow
I feel myself inside a hideous nightmare
Do you think this all it's fair?

Some people said this love between us would end,
I don't think these people feel what we felt
I may start to think they haven't felt it yet
This love is what I most desire because I'm still alive to feel your hands touching my heart.

All the words that I find to express my love can't seem to be enough yet
Yet I miss the words to express what I truly feel for her in my heart
Until now the words I can find doesn't explain
How many times I was at your side when no one else cared
Look at my face and you will see my eyes crying tears of pain.

I always understanded what you wanted to express in the phone
But I never tought this would be how things would end
You never understanded some of things I did to be so deeply enloved
And the pain is consuming me at all.

I pray God for all the time that I can be with my best friend
You better change your toughs, I can't see what you think I have done
If you know what true love means, then you know I will not say goodbye
Without one last kiss.

From all the things I've wanted I waited so many time, I don't still understand
I wanted to be with you, dont you still recgonize this relationship
My sweet Verónica, do you get it now?
I never lost my faith there is a way I can love you somehow.

Don't slash my soul, I still do depend on you
Good things can happen but my love isn't turning into a nightmare
If you believe and trust in me no one else can destroy this
All the things in the world that try to stop me, won't stop me from being with the girl that I most care.

[Shamanno1]

You work so much on this poem lol..I hope you will finish with the upgrades soon(cmn bart say u like it !)

And make some imba story's....no more poems pls

[DirtyKiller]

Lol you like stories I would say, like Disney Stories? xD