One Liners

[Red_Death]

I'd like to depart this world the way I arrived, screaming and covered in someone else's blood

I'm trying to see things your way, but I can't get my head up my butt

I so appreciate your point of view I almost regret dismissing it

Oh look, only 2,852,677 more days til I start caring what you think

I've upped my standards now, up yours

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce

How about never? Is never good for you?

If it's too loud, you're too old

The beatings will continue until morale improves

And your crybaby whiney-ass opinion would be?

I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it

My child sold your honor student the answers to the test

I'm only here to annoy

Don't give me that smart alec attitude I already have one

Either shut up or I'll render you unconscious

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted

Shhh... that's the sound of nobody caring what you think

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you

Maybe you should go to eBay and don't click me a clue

I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?

I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter

Do I look like a freakin' people person?

Gee, I'd like to care, but I don't possess that gene.

How may I ignore you today?

Done Whining?

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand
Just because I understand doesn't mean I care

I'm ready to listen are you ready to think?

The loony bin called. They have something for you.

Thank you. You may go.

How nice of you to take this time to humiliate yourself in public

Your problem is low self esteem which is very common for losers like you

Keep talking, I'm just going to take a little nap

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental

I think, therefore I'm not you

I like your approach, now let's see your departure

You can't become a distant memory soon enough

Have a nice day! ...somewhere else

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma

I'm right, you're wrong, get over it.

You've obviously got CRI: Cranial Rectal Insertion

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don't want to see you every day

People like you are reason people like me need medication

Mirrors don't lie. And lucky for you, they can't laugh

Let me ask you this: Shut up!

Again... I find myself not giving a crap

Oh gee, let me go find a container for my joy

It matters not if you win or lose, it only matters that I win

When I want your opinion I'll remove the duct tape

Amazingly enough I don't give a crap

My mom said don't talk to strangers and you're stranger than most

Gee, even with your head up your butt, you still manage to put your foot in your mouth

We have a strange and wonderful relationship. I'm wonderful and you're strange

I've seen your kind before but I had to pay admission

Can you skip to the part where I care?

If BS was a religion, you'd be pope

If you can't laugh at yourself, at least let me do it

You have the empathy skills of a newborn

My dad can beat up your honor student

Locked in a room with you, two tigers and a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot you twice

It's not PMS. It's you.

Surely that isn't your actual opinion

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Sorry, my Give-A-Damn's busted!

Warning! I may be hazardous to your emotional well being

[Senethior459]

LOL

Nice... I think, therefore I'm not you
These are brilliant.

[Small Sized Duck]

Mirrors don't lie. And lucky for you, they can't laugh

Nice

[Bartimaeus]

I will use these in the future when I feel like insulting somebody without looking like a dork.

[omnimancer]

tl;dr