Shut Up And Trouble
Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?"
He answered, "Shut Up."
He asked again "What's your name?"
"Shut Up."
The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
"Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago."
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Friendship
Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
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Lazy Man
The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel. "They're yours, but what are they for?" the genie asked.
"I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse."
"But the squirrel?" asked the genie.
"I need something to go 'click-click' to start the horse!!!"
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Do Not Understand
Two friends are talking and one says to the other; “I am so tired of people not understanding what I'm talking about.
His friend asks; “What do you mean?”
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Ice Fishing
There once was a blonde who had always heard about ice fishing, so one day she tried it. She went to an icy area, cut a hole, and started fishing. All of a sudden, she hears a voice. “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She ignores it and moves to another area, cutting a hole, and beginning to fish again. Again she hears the booming voice. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!" She is starting to get freaked out now. "Lord? Is that you?" she asks. In reply she hears, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"
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Posh Hotel
A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu “I’d like one under cooked egg so that it’s running, and one over cooked egg that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.” that’s a complicated order sir, said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”
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Press A Doorbell
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
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Cute Dress
A lady walked into a boutique and asked the sales lady "May I try on that cute dress in the window?"
The sales lady replied; "Sure, but wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a dressing room?"
Funny Jokes??Maybe....
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- Forum Staff
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Re: Funny Jokes??Maybe....
Meh, I found these to be somewhat lacking in humor. They're somewhat funny, but they weren't funny enough to really laugh at.
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If you want to chat/game with me:
Blizzard: Senethior459#1962
Discord: Kyle#7409
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If you want to chat/game with me:
Blizzard: Senethior459#1962
Discord: Kyle#7409
Steam: Spacekidkyle
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- Banned-To-Be
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Re: Funny Jokes??Maybe....
same here, werent really that funny.
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