A hungry but penniless bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow.
He sits at the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the hungry bloke bravely asks,
"If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?"
The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says, "Aye, ye can gae richt aheid."
Eagerly, the young bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.
He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.
The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli back into the bowl.
The old Jock says, "Aye, that's as far as I got too."