My Resume [joke]

[Vegas]

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I
got canned.. I couldn't
concentrate.







2. Then I worked in the
woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the
axe.







3.. After that, I tried to
be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew
job.







4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler
Factory, but that was too
exhausting.







5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it
would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the
thyme.







6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any
way I sliced it I couldn't cut the
mustard.







7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually
I found I wasn't noteworthy.







8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.







9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried
but I just didn't fit in.







10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but
discovered that I couldn't live on my net
income.







11. I managed to get a good job working for a
Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too
draining..







12. So then I got a job in
a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the
job.







13. After many years of
trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian - until I
realized there was no future in
it.







14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but
I had to quit because it was always the same old
grind.







15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT
I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

[Madara]

perfect for retirement

[Bartimaeus]

...These are so bad they're good,

[UndeadxAssassin]

SOMEONE was bored when they made these...