How fights start [joke]

[Vegas]

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'



It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.



'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.



So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'



And that's when the fight started....



************************************************************************



My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were



in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'



'No,' she answered.



I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'



She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'



So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'



And that's when the fight started....



************************************************************************



I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.







Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer



would make her look better at night than the cold cream.



And that's when the fight started......



*********************************************************************







I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first..



'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'



He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'



'Nah, she can order for herself.'



And that's when the fight started.....



************************************************************************



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping



the channels.



She asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust.'



And then the fight started...







======================================================================







My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming



anniversary.



She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to



200 in about 3 seconds.'



I bought her a scale.



And then the fight started...







====================================================================







My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school



reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as



he sat alone at a nearby table.



I asked her , 'Do you know him?'







'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...



I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and



I hear he hasn't been sober since.'



'My God!' I said, 'who would think a



person could go on celebrating that long?'







And then the fight started...







===========================================================







I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were



alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know



how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem



funny?



Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,



'I AM NOT HAPPY!'



So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'



And then the fight started...







============================================================================







SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST











THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER







When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife



kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.



But, somehow I always had something else to take care of



first, the truck, the car, playing golf '



Always something more important to me.







Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When



I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,



busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.



I watched silently for a short time and then went into the



house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed



her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,



you might as well sweep the driveway.'

[Small Sized Duck]

Owch.

[Madara]

hahahahaha i love the one at the high school anniversary reunion

celebrating so long

[UndeadxAssassin]

That's not nice >> Though, the scale was funny >>.

[RagingPanda]

Hahaha, these are funny in a cruel way xD