Senethior459 wrote:Very nice. A few small errors, but I'm guessing those were made when you translated it to English? The best one so far, in my opinion.
So... Maybe you should start thinking about how you're going to give this to her. Are you going to email it? Print it out/write it down and mail it? Visit her and read it to her? Find a good song, visit her, and sing it to her? (I suggest the last two. They'll let you really express yourself to her. If you do them, though, I suggest rehearsing it, at least a little.)
Lol I never do translation from portuguese to english the words really lose their meaning when translated so I do them first at english not portuguese and maybe visit her find a good song and maybe sing it to her.
Ps: Im not that good at singing well wish me luck xD.
About the errors can you tell me which ones are they? O.o
Ps2: Check the first poem on topic I changed it a bit! =)
Hmm...
Here, I made a few changes. See if you like them.
Spoiler:
I want you to notice
From all the times we were together
I never let you aside
Please let me hold you.
My strength is my love
That I feel so strongly for you
Even though I may be down
I won’t make you drown.
I want to love you
And to show to you
One different world
I can only show.
The past makes me remember
The good times we’ve had together
When I’m with you,
I feel so safe and so secure
Every day is a perfect day
To spend along with you
And when the night falls
You’re my shining star
That shines more then the sky
Because you’re the light that surrounds me.
You give me the life
That vanished from me
Let me hold you one more time
And let me feel this strong embrace.
If you don't like what I did, here's your original poem, with only grammar changes.
Spoiler:
I want you to notice
From all the times we were together
I never let you aside
Please let me hold you.
My strength is my love
That I feel so strongly for you
Even though I may be down
I won’t make you drown.
I want to love you
And to show to you
A different world
That only I can show.
The past makes me remember
The good times we’ve had together
And I must be crazy enough
To love someone so much like you.
And when the night falls
You’re my shining star
That shines more then the sky
Because you’re the light that surrounds me.
You give me the life
That vanished from me
Let me hold you one more time
And let me feel this strong embrace.
My Warcraft III Tool Collection
If you want to chat/game with me:
Blizzard: Senethior459#1962
Discord: Kyle#7409
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Well guys I made *cough* more 4 poems .
Give a opinion =)
Spoiler:
And you know
I will show
To you another side of me
Your all that means inside my heart and here.
I wanna hold you
I wanna love you more then ever before
I can´t still get enough
From this crazy love.
And its been a while
Since I could call you
Your everything I can remember
I don´t know ways to express this.
But my love is real and true
Thats all I can say
So many things I wished
But most of the time you were away.
And my greatest wish is that you can remember
I went searching the world for someone like you
And passed a while since I could remember
How many time was I without you.
Spoiler:
Your my forbidden love
Your the only thing I can remember
Your my half
And im the other that complete both our lonely hearts.
But now with the past of time
I wonder if this is my reality my own life
All these feelings
I always shared
I just do have one dream
I always wanted to kiss you with so much strenght my love.
Being with you here
Forever and more
Your the one
That I want to stay while I live this life.
Please don´t go now
I can´t let this fade away
I´m not ok
It´s this all you can do just running away.
Stop avoiding me
You know you will be hurting me
Those smalls hands are shacking
My heart is deeply aching.
Spoiler:
Now that we both are here
Will you stop going away
I wanna kiss your face
I wanna fall in love.
I still have some words
I haven´t told to you before
I love you my love
I won´t turn this into a bad tide on the way.
I must have to close my hands
And let me feel this strong embrace
I must keep my heart warm
I can´t yet let myself to faint.
I must resist my strong and deepest fears
I can´t fall by my knees
I begged you so many times
Be with me more time please.
All the times I have felt insecure
And my doubts are consuming both of us
I am not sure if you love me
Tought your my biggest love on this small and empty world
Your the one that can only bright day.
Spoiler:
All the times I was lost
On the outside
Waiting for someone
I always tried to find a light
That could show me.
The meaning of this love
That I feel so deeply for you
The eco of the voices
Are so scared.
As my heart is too
My heart soon will be grey
Like a cloud on the darkness
Wishing for a shinny day.
I hope I could be more romantic
But God didn´t gave me much more
My love is the key
That will always brighten my day.
I just got to believe in faith
And believe this is more strong
Then what others would say
I can´t let myself get consumed by the tides of the ocean.
I must be dreaming
Sometimes I don´t believe this is my reality
Why is her still my girlfriend
I don´t understand why she haven´t gave up yet.
.
