DirtyKiller wrote:
Ps: What means awkward and clunky? Oo
Awkward:
Spoiler:
awk⋅ward [awk-werd]
adjective
1. lacking skill or dexterity; clumsy.
2. lacking grace or ease in movement: an awkward gesture; an awkward dancer.
3. lacking social graces or manners: a simple, awkward frontiersman.
4. not well planned or designed for easy or effective use: an awkward instrument; an awkward method.
5. requiring caution; somewhat hazardous; dangerous: an awkward turn in the road.
6. hard to deal with; difficult; requiring skill, tact, or the like: an awkward situation; an awkward customer.
7. embarrassing or inconvenient; caused by lack of social grace: an awkward moment
8. Obsolete. untoward; perverse.
Clunky:
Spoiler:
clunk·y (klŭng'kē)
adjective
1. lacking grace in movement or posture; "a gawky lad with long ungainly legs"; "clumsy fingers"; "what an ungainly creature a giraffe is"; "heaved his unwieldy figure out of his chair" [syn: gawky]
2. making a clunking sound
It's still too long, imo. I couldn't be bothered to read it, if I was her. What you should do is shorten some of them a bit, and combine it together, so it's short, easy to read, and to the point, and isn't an omg-wth-is-this length,
Bartimaeus wrote:It's still too long, imo. I couldn't be bothered to read it, if I was her. What you should do is shorten some of them a bit, and combine it together, so it's short, easy to read, and to the point, and isn't an omg-wth-is-this length,
Tecnically isnt for her to read but to sing to her..... O.o
Problem: I will have to remember this all lol.....
The Third Upgrade!Lolz tell if it needs to be shorter and I will give my best. xD
Opinion guys specially Bartimaeus lol. xD
Spoiler:
I will never let you alone
I wanna learn
Don´t make me suffer
I wish to know whats the best way to love you
I don´t wanna be sad always thinking on these questions.
But try to understand from all the times we were together
I never let you aside
But why now?
Why now, that I´ts getting hard for me
And I love you so much inside here.
I may be hurt, but I keep trying harder
Please hear my heart beat and the scar carved deep within
Because he may not be able to take enough time to heal again
I never wanted to hear what you wanted to say
Tell it to me again to understand.
Maybe I can be someone hard to be with
But I´ll never let you aside
Even if you don´t understand
I´ll try to teach it to you in other words
Even if that means a whole life.
I lost the count of the days I was without you
Was more then some months of sadness and loneliness
Not even my heart stand so long
And now I try to find the road that I find correct to follow
Don´t be afraid I will never let you alone.
I dont wanna suffer and cry neither I wanna you
To be sad like I am, I wish I had a special heart
To make it better for you, but this one its the only one I got
And the only that I can give to you
But somehow I knew I am not going to be anything without you
Where it is gone what we feel when we started.
And crazy love we promissed to each other
A smile that you have that can bright my day.
Don´t let the bad days drown you down, I don´t wanna you sad
Because it´s hard to save you if I´ll be sad too for seing you like that
If I was a magician I would do a love spell.
To you fall in love again with me
And feel it one more time in your heart
Because one like you is just someone in a million
I wanna start this all from the beggining
Because I don´t wanna end now by losing you
And this is so good to be happening too me, I still can´t believe it.
I don´t wanna lose my love, I don´t wanna wake up, because seven months aren´t yet enough
Because it´s better to be fallen in love while I keep you inside my heart
I still see your eyes crying, clean those tears I wanna see your smile
With someone like you who cares whats around, your smile means all for me
Because your the one that does shine, I never expected you too be the one.
Who said this will end?
I didnt heard those words so well
Repeat again so I can be sure that I understand what have you said
Because I may not be able survive to hear them again.
Why I care that this might end?
But sometimes I ask why don´t care?
Because your my girlfriend, I will never give up
Your my twin soul, my best friend
If I gave up what would matter me for too be the best for my girl?
If there was a enciclopedia to tell how much I care
Then it would be needed millions of them.
If the world ask me how much I care?
For my girlfriend, then I would say shes all I ever cared
Did you ever opened the pages of this book I gave to you
Don´t judge it for the outside, go further inside
I´m the most happy guy all the time If I can be with the one I dream.
I can´t know what you want, but that doesnt stops me from guessing
I may even think you want to be kissed or even to be with me
Even before the time may end and then nothing more too be done.
I wanted to entry your door do you give me permission to come inside
I think I´ve lost the keys, but my heart It´s the strongest key ever done
I´m gonna be able to open those doors that keep my heart beating
Because I´m not yet going to give up, I might believe in forever love
For how strong this is I wanna make it stronger then ever before.
Because if you werent mine
I would have been trying to be yours long ago
Because I don´t find no one better then you
Your the one I most love
Sometimes I keep thinking, is she the one
And why do I keep her name in my mind?
How can I always remember you here
My sweet Verónica, who said I dont care?
I got what it needs to be yours
Because I´m not stepping back now
Who said no man will fall in love?
Thats just a lie many have said!
But there is a thing that I remind
It´s almost impossible to live without a love once in life
And I can be so happy with my girl, I never wanted so much anything then you.
But I prefer to spend these last hours in this restless night
With my love, shes very special to my heart
Because sometimes we are so far away from each other
And I do this for be more times together with you
My heart can´t lie, because I´ve fallen in love
Your the one that I love the most
Someone like you its like a girl in a million
I don´t even care what may come next
Because I might be already dead
And how can I see trought your dreams?
I still got my faith and your love
And if there was a way to spread what I feel
I would have millions of words to spread all around
I will try to be here this last hours
Because in this day I remain here tonight.
Okay, why exactly are you writing poems for an eleven year old? Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationships at that age, (or in middle school/high school, as well), shouldn't be taken as seriously as you are taking it. It'll probably be over in a few months. Seems like a waste of time, to me. Anyways, it's shorter, but I still couldn't ever remember half of it.
