Grant a Wish!

[Littlenino]

wish granted, but then they leave right after they do so

I wish I had a pet monkey

[xkiska]

Wish granted, but he has his friend with him, his name is kingkong, do you want a pet monkey now?

I wish I didn't have so many problems with my computer!

[Senethior459]

Wish granted, because you no longer have a computer!
I wish I could make random things become animate and kill people.

[xkiska]

Wish granted, but they kill you.

I wish that this topic didn't exist, and if the next person grants my wish, this topic doesn't exist, so how are they going to grant it? xD

[Evil_Darkness]

Wish granted, but the meaning for exist has been changed to mean suck.

I wish everyone heard about the bird.

[Senethior459]

Wish granted, but they don't know what you're talking about.
I wish the nice winds outside were just slightly more constant, so I could actually get my stupid kite to stay up. It's just gusts right now, so the kite goes up for a second, and falls.

[Lanaya]

Wish granted, but there's a tornado.

I wish world peace?

[xkiska]

I'm sorry, but that wish can never be granted...

I wish that I could do anything I wanted without getting introuble.

[Lanaya]

Wish granted, but now everyone hates you.

and again,

I wish for world peace.

[xkiska]

Wish granted, but we all died from iraquans not being peaceful.

I wish that I knew everything