Stella awards

[Vegas]

Only in the USA!
>>
>> It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with
>> these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
>> hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico
>> where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the
>> coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever
>> think one could get burned doing that, right?
>>
>> That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and
>> verdicts
>> in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your
>> head..
>> So keep your head scratchier handy.
>>
>> Here are the Stella's for the past year:
>>
>> 7TH PLACE:
>> Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
>> peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
>> inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised
>> by
>> the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
>>
>> 6TH PLACE:
>> Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical
>> expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
>> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
>> he
>> was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
>>
>> Go ahead, grab your head scratchier.
>>
>> 5TH PLACE:
>> Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
>> had
>> just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the
>> automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the
>> garage
>> door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door
>> connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
>> Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a
>> large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company
>> claiming undue mental Anguish.
>>
>> Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
>> for
>> his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
>>
>> Keep scratching. There are more...
>>
>> 4TH PLACE:
>> Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the
>> Stella's
>> when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on
>> the
>> butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a
>> chain in its owner's fenced yard... Williams did not get as much as he
>> asked
>> for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the
>> time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into
>> the
>> yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
>>
>> Grrrrr... Scratch, scratch.
>>
>> 3RD PLACE:
>> Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
>> Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
>> spilled
>> soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
>> floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
>> during
>> an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own
>> actions?
>>
>> Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more
>> Stella's
>> to go...
>>
>> 2ND PLACE:
>> Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
>> nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
>> knocking
>> out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak
>> through
>> the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury
>> said
>> the night club had to pay her $12,000... oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.
>> Go
>> figure.
>>
>> 1ST PLACE: (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)
>> This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv
>> Grazinski,
>> of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor
>> home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on
>> to
>> the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
>> driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
>> sandwich.
>> Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
>> overturned.
>> Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in
>> the
>> owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while
>> the
>> cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting
>> down,
>> $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their
>> manuals
>> as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives
>> who
>> might also don't click me a motor home.

[Ryu]

Those were funny keep em up

[Bartimaeus]

Fut the whucking Hell.

Gah.

[patrick-the-bomb]

Wow...
That's ridiculous

[Tobias]

Americans need to smoke less pot I suppose o_0.

[Ozzapoo]

That made me lulz XD

[initialD]

I wish I am an american.