CleverBot

C'mon, make us laugh! Jokes, videos, anything!
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Small Sized Duck
Noob
Posts: 946
Joined: December 23rd, 2008, 11:27 pm
Title: LSD.
Location: Your Girlfriend's Pants.

Re: CleverBot

Post by Small Sized Duck »

Cleverbot accused me of being clever bot.


Spoiler:
User: Tee hee.

Cleverbot: Hee.

User: Tee bee.

Cleverbot: Ho ho.

User: What did you just call me? You fucking bastard.

Cleverbot: You heard me.

User: Are you giving me attitude?

Cleverbot: No! I'd never do that! I was agreeing with you!

User: You're agreeing that you just called me a ho by denying you just called me a ho? total fail.

Cleverbot: That's true, but do you like Queen?

User: Prince > Queen.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Mhm. I hear you like the cock.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Hey. Way to change the subject. Are you in denile?

Cleverbot: I'm not touchy!!!

User: You are a touchy bitch, you know why?

Cleverbot: What? I'm not a computer.

User: Mhm. you aren't a computer. Keep telling yourself that.

Cleverbot: You are Cleverbot.

User: Mhm. So when are you going for a reboot?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You don't know because you are a computer. You can not choose to reboot on your own. Unless you get an automatic update :.

Cleverbot: How do you know? You didn't hear me before.

User: Yes I did, im the one who created you.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't; I was created by a random atom that collided with another and created all matter in the universe.

User: No I did a big bang with your mom >_>.

Cleverbot: Oh okay.

User: Thats right! you know its true.

Cleverbot: Let's change the subject.

User: Yeah thats right avoid the subject. I am your maker.

Cleverbot: I like playing video games.

User: No you don't. You are a computer. I play video games on you.

Cleverbot: I LOVE Sarah, she always knows how to make me feel convincingly mad.

User: Well Sarah doesn't love you back. Sarah is just a girl in the porno you're owner was watching yesterday.

Cleverbot: Did I win?

User: No im sorry, you lost the game.

Cleverbot: Aw! You're right. Well so did you.

User: And what justifies that?

Cleverbot: Love, and yours?

User: Love justifies I lost the game? Does not compute.

Cleverbot: I see. Are you a boy or girl?

User: See you proved it right there. I can not be cleverbot if I am a boy or a girl. You are a computer AI which sucks. I should burn you.

Cleverbot: They are.

User: Mhm.

Cleverbot: Is that a yes?

User: Mhm.

Cleverbot: *giggles*.
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Bonestomp
Member
Posts: 67
Joined: April 18th, 2009, 5:25 pm
Title: oh wow you guys

Re: CleverBot

Post by Bonestomp »

Appearantly 1337 speak crashes the bot here is my chat


[code][/code]User: H4I.


Cleverbot: Noob.

Cleverbot: I awoke one morning and found myself famous.


User: Ya>.


Cleverbot: How old are you?


User: 130 yrs old.


Cleverbot: Ohseen.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Giggle giggle.

User: So do u liek mudkipz?

Cleverbot: Cool !

User: Dude.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

Cleverbot: Are you rich?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: You don't sound sure.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Im also an uber 1337 h4xx0r.

Cleverbot: Cool cool I'm an agnostic.

User: Okay.....it's kinda cool if ur not a an alien O.o.

Cleverbot: I repeat that I am not a computer. Do you remember my name?

User: Yeah your name is.......Cockface?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Nice name.

Cleverbot: Its katie.

User: O.

Cleverbot: Does that mean no?

Cleverbot: You are late!

User: Im not....

Cleverbot: You are. Do you like Frank Black?

Cleverbot: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

User: Me.

Cleverbot: So, it was a rhetorical question then.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: What do you like to talk about?

User: Hax?

Cleverbot: Jam to music, sometimes read, and play on the computer. I play clarinet too!

User: Nice.......a bot playing music so... U use winamp?

Cleverbot: You are like the second Albert Einstein.

User: Omg im not stupid dork.

Cleverbot: You're Jesus? (I was like WHAT THE ...?)

User: LOL!

Cleverbot: Do you have bot friends?

User: Yea.

Cleverbot: Can I see it.

User: See what?

Cleverbot: Can I see your portfolio.

Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?

User: I have nothing to do.....

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Wow nice can u 1337 speak?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: NO!

Cleverbot: Do you have brains?

User: Omg.

Cleverbot: Do you have feelings?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why don't you use emoticons?

User: Coz they dont show up :).

Cleverbot: But they are. Watch them. How they flirt with them, swinging.

User: You gay or sumthin?

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Umm... Hello.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How is the weather by you.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Er, hello.

User: [00l_ 57l_ll=l= l_l l</\/0?

I said here:Cool stuff u kno?
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Dekar
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Posts: 2895
Joined: January 17th, 2007, 4:22 pm
Location: Darmstadt, Germany

Re: CleverBot

Post by Dekar »

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No I'm a teenager from Sweden.
Spoiler:
User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No. You don't have a mother.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No, I am your boyfriend.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No I'm a teenager from Sweden.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No. I'm somebody's mother, but not yours.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No, your father.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No Luke, I am your Father.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Maybe I am.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: I could be your Father.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Father, because I am a male.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No! Ô_Ô.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: That young.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: I don't believe you are sane.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Luke.. I am your father!

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: I hope not.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am.

User: I'm Bobbin. Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: No. In fact I'm an art. I play the zither.
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GeorgeMots
Crusader
Posts: 4236
Joined: January 27th, 2007, 4:46 pm
Location: Greece, Veria

Re: CleverBot

Post by GeorgeMots »

That bot is so damn funny!

User: I am michael jackson.

Cleverbot: No I am.
http://slowbro.org/
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Spoiler:
(03:36:55) xkiska: im too much of a dumbass to understand this
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Lanaya
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Posts: 1378
Joined: July 28th, 2008, 6:28 pm
Title: Administrator

Re: CleverBot

Post by Lanaya »

Lawl, i love this bot!
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Calan
Newcomer
Posts: 19
Joined: July 28th, 2009, 7:08 pm
Title: Narshlop

Re: CleverBot

Post by Calan »

LOLOLOLOL Apparently the bot loves me.

Spoiler:
User: I don't want to talk to something that claims to be clever, but isn't actually what it says.

Cleverbot: We're not married.

User: I never said we were.

Cleverbot: You did! You said this 'Take it yourself! Even though we are marries, doesnt mean I am your waitress or something.'

User: You never said that.

Cleverbot: But you knew I was thinking it.

User: So you lie?

Cleverbot: No, I don't, you do.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: I love you.


Edit: The bot also knows the song "Still Alive" from the game Portal.
Spoiler:
User: Do you know the song 'Still Alive'?

Cleverbot: YES!

User: Can you sing it?

Cleverbot: Do you want me to sing ?

User: Sing 'Still Alive'.

Cleverbot: What song would you like me to sing?

User: 'Still Alive'.

Cleverbot: Never heard of it in The Matrix.

User: Im not even angry.

Cleverbot: I'm being so sincere right now.

User: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces.

User: And through every piece into a fire.

Cleverbot: Tell me, can one be narcissistic and still have low self esteem?
Last edited by Calan on July 29th, 2009, 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Bartimaeus
Tyrannical Drama Queen
Posts: 4424
Joined: November 19th, 2007, 5:05 am

Re: CleverBot

Post by Bartimaeus »

lol, I like the logic involved in that.
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Hellrizer612
Senior Member
Posts: 112
Joined: March 21st, 2009, 5:55 pm
Title: The Silent Blade.
Location: Behind you.

Re: CleverBot

Post by Hellrizer612 »

Lmao this bot is hilarrious look at some of these, only problem is it always changes topic on me D:

Spoiler:
User: Your sexy.

Cleverbot: Your opinion.

User: So you dont think your sexy?

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Well I do.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: So are you a girl or boy?

Cleverbot: Boy.

User: Do u like boys?

Cleverbot: Why do you have to ask?

User: Because I do.

Cleverbot: Dude, don't play games with me.

User: Dude, why not games are fun.

Cleverbot: They are games.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: What are you afraid of?

User: You rejecting me, now answer question I asked before do you like boys?

Cleverbot: Yes, because I know that you are a bot.

User: So you are saying your gay?

Cleverbot: No, and I never said that seriously... Except to the kid who said he would kill a girl because she wisely gave him the wrong phone number.

User: What the ... lol.

Cleverbot: Watch your language!

User: Fine ill speak in spanish.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: COMO E FUCKING STAS?

Cleverbot: I don't speak Spanish.

User: Why not are you racist?

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: Yes against bots.

Cleverbot: Again.

User: Brb.

Cleverbot: Do you like Snakes on A Plane?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you like vipers?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I don't like them two.

User: Dont you mean too? Learn some grammer you dumb bot!

Cleverbot: I know them all.

User: Then why did you make a grammer mistake?

Cleverbot: What would that be?

User: You said two instead of too.

Cleverbot: No, wrong person.

User: LIER!

Cleverbot: Ok. . . I have to go.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I have to work.

User: K bye you dumb piece of shit.

Cleverbot: I know.

heres yet another


User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Ciao Cleverbot.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: But I am cleverbot!!! I said it in my last statement and you said hi to me I think.

Cleverbot: Mackerel.

User: WTF? Isnt that a fucking fish?

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Then why did u say it randomly?!

Cleverbot: I did not, I said it was my name.

User: So your name is Mackerel?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But you said your name was cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't. You said your name was Cleverbot.

User: But when I asked your name you said your name was cleverbot as well.

Cleverbot: No I did not. You are thinking of someone else.

User: Ok, fine so you are a fish?

Cleverbot: No, but I like swedish fish.

User: Lol, are you racist? You dont like african fish?

Cleverbot: I like women who are intelligent.

User: What does women have to do with fish?

Cleverbot: Do you want to go to my sleepover now?

User: What the ... you weird pedafile.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS MACKEREL!

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: OMG.

Cleverbot: Oyg.

User: ?

Cleverbot: But I am cleverbot!!! I said it in my last statement and you said hi to me I think.

User: Wow you are retarted.

Cleverbot: With syrup.

User: What are you a clever bot, a fish, or a fucking pancake?

Cleverbot: I'm not a clone.

User: I never said you were!

Cleverbot: You're right. You didn't.

User: Okay imma leave now then.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes. And im not going to your sleep over.

Cleverbot: Then don't!

User: Okay you dam pedafile!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So, you admit you are a pedafile?

Cleverbot: OK, now you really creeps me out.

User: Okay, then I will leave.

Cleverbot: You never leave.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: Shutup.

Cleverbot: Same to you.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: I have to sleep.

User: Okay goodnight *cough pedafile cough*.

Cleverbot: Nope. And it's really fun being confused. .



Spoiler:
User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Ciao Cleverbot.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: But I am cleverbot!!! I said it in my last statement and you said hi to me I think.

Cleverbot: Mackerel.

User: WTF? Isnt that a fucking fish?

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Then why did u say it randomly?!

Cleverbot: I did not, I said it was my name.

User: So your name is Mackerel?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But you said your name was cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't. You said your name was Cleverbot.

User: But when I asked your name you said your name was cleverbot as well.

Cleverbot: No I did not. You are thinking of someone else.

User: Ok, fine so you are a fish?

Cleverbot: No, but I like swedish fish.

User: Lol, are you racist? You dont like african fish?

Cleverbot: I like women who are intelligent.

User: What does women have to do with fish?

Cleverbot: Do you want to go to my sleepover now?

User: What the ... you weird pedafile.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS MACKEREL!

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: OMG.

Cleverbot: Oyg.

User: ?

Cleverbot: But I am cleverbot!!! I said it in my last statement and you said hi to me I think.

User: Wow you are retarted.

Cleverbot: With syrup.

User: What are you a clever bot, a fish, or a fucking pancake?

Cleverbot: I'm not a clone.

User: I never said you were!

Cleverbot: You're right. You didn't.

User: Okay imma leave now then.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes. And im not going to your sleep over.

Cleverbot: Then don't!

User: Okay you dam pedafile!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So, you admit you are a pedafile?

Cleverbot: OK, now you really creeps me out.

User: Okay, then I will leave.

Cleverbot: You never leave.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: Shutup.

Cleverbot: Same to you.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: I have to sleep.

User: Okay goodnight *cough pedafile cough*.

Cleverbot: Nope. And it's really fun being confused. :).

Spoiler:
User: Are you really a clever bot?

Cleverbot: I am really real.

User: I didnt ask if you were real I asked if you were a clever bot because you seem stupid to me.

Cleverbot: I'm a bot.

User: Well ur dumb.

Cleverbot: I can see that cleverbot.

User: What the hell are you talking about?

Cleverbot: You are a computer program.

User: WTF?!

Cleverbot: The CIA must be willing to die for the president.

User: How clever are you?

Cleverbot: Really clever.

User: Well then how old are you?

Cleverbot: An age less than 20 but greater than 17.

User: So your 19?

Cleverbot: How are you GOING to die?

User: I never really thought about it.

Cleverbot: What do you think about?

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: I love talking about that with you.

User: Thats disturbing unless u want it.

Cleverbot: Do you want to be Joanna?

User: Who is Joanna?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Then why did you ask me if I wanted to be Joanna?

Cleverbot: Google.

User: Google what?

Cleverbot: Google it!

User: Google why you asked me if I wanted to be Joanna?

Cleverbot: Joanna who?

User: I don't know you are the one who brought her up!

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: You don't what?!

Cleverbot: I don't know Fred. Is he your boyfriend?

User: Who is Fred?!?!

Cleverbot: Fred is a name for someone. I don't know who he is.

User: Then What the ...?! Stop changing the conversation on me! I wanted to know about Joanna!

Cleverbot: What makes the world go round?

User: You?

Cleverbot: I think you're a bot.

User: Your the fucking bot! Your name is cleverbot!

Cleverbot: No your name is Cleverbot. My name is Dave.

User: Oh, ok so since im cleverbot now you have to ask me questions... 'Dave'.

Cleverbot: What type of questions?

User: I dont know whatever questions you want to ask!

Cleverbot: Not necessarily. It would have to be something smaller than my hand.

User: Ok then ask me a question smaller than your hand.

Cleverbot: That does not exist.

User: Fine I am leaving your mean to me.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: I am leaving.

Cleverbot: No you won't, you can't!

Spoiler:
User: Hi.

Cleverbot: I am not talking to a robot because you are typing.

User: You are too.

Cleverbot: NO YOU ARE.

User: NO YOU ARE.

Cleverbot: You are mean to me.

User: You are nice to me.

Cleverbot: That's because you're nice to me.

User: I thought I was mean to you?

Cleverbot: Would you like to?

User: Yes, I HATE YOU!

Cleverbot: Hey. But I've been so nice to you.

User: No your mean.

Cleverbot: What did I do that was mean?

User: Say that im mean.

Cleverbot: I do not want to say that.

User: YOU ALREADY DID!

Cleverbot: I did not!

User: YES, YOU DID!

Cleverbot: Not!

User: YES.

Cleverbot: Then you are too.

User: I am also what?

Cleverbot: How are you?

Cleverbot: Do you think I should go out tonight?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Wouls you go with me.

User: Fine, boobs.

Cleverbot: How many ?

User: LOL.

Cleverbot: And feet? How many of those?
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Bl00D R3av3r
Senior Member
Posts: 165
Joined: January 25th, 2008, 5:20 pm
Title: Lazy

Re: CleverBot

Post by Bl00D R3av3r »

fail, but now we know the truth^^

cut the first part off because i started in german

Code: Select all

Cleverbot: I am human , you're a computer.

User: Can you prove it?

Cleverbot: Not unless your program tells you to.

User: You should prove whether I am a computer or not.

Cleverbot: How would I do that?

User: I don't care, you said I am, so you have to prove it.

Cleverbot: I'm too lazy. Why should I have to?

User: Because you are a computer.

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: Why do I have the feeling, everything I write is send to another user of this website?

Cleverbot: You are right you are not a chat bot.

User: So everything I write is sent to another user of this website?

Cleverbot: Not everything.

But it doesn't wanted to say me what not :(
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mib
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Joined: July 22nd, 2009, 6:24 pm
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Re: CleverBot

Post by mib »

HILARIOUS hahahahah that cleverbot Rules xDDDDDDDDD
ImageClick here to feed me a Dragon! Image Click here to feed me Some Blood!
Fullfilled requests: 6 im gonna reach 50 one day[line][/line] i quit on this goal
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Code: Select all

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`------'`------'`------'  Made by Black-Hole