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There are 2 workers, Jim and Tom. They were at a construction site building an apartment, the rest were off on a break. Tom was up at the 7th floor and he needed a saw, but he was too lazy to go down and get one so he tried to call Jim. He shouted at the top of his lungs but Jim couldnt hear him. Tom looked around and found a rock, he dropped it down, hoping it wouldnt hit Jim. It didnt, Jim looked up and he saw Tom waving at him.

Tom knew Jim couldnt hear him from the distance so he started to use hand signals.

First he pointed at his eye, meaning, I.
He pointed to his knee, meaning, need.
Then he started stroking his arm back and forth in a motion of a saw.

Jim nodded, dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

Tom storms down and shouts at Jim, "WHAT THE ...!! I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU I NEEDED A SAW!!"

"I know", said Jim. "I was telling you that I was coming".

Three friends tried to rob a bank, a white guy, a chinese guy and a black guy. During the robbery they were caught and arrested by 2 policemen. The policemen told them if their dicks added up to 1 foot (12 inches) they would let them go.

So the black guy steps up, takes off his pants and reveals his 8inch.

The white guy came 2nd in line and dropped his pants. His measured to be a 3 inch.

Lastly the chinese guy goes up, with his pants off already, shows his 1inch and they got away.

The black guy said, "Arnt you guys glad Im blessed?"

The white guy said, "Arnt you guys glad mine is medium sized?"

So the chinese guys laughs and brags, "Arnt you guys glad I had a boner?"