Escaped Konvict!

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UndeadxAssassin
Grammar King
Posts: 2115
Joined: June 22nd, 2008, 10:11 pm
Title: Worst human for 4eva
Location: Mostly USEast

Escaped Konvict!

Post by UndeadxAssassin »

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
(20:53:52) Bartimaeus: Thank you, Jen.
(20:53:56) Bartimaeus: Truly, you are wise.


(23:44:12) Bartimaeus: I was in pubic school until middle school...


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Small Sized Duck
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Joined: December 23rd, 2008, 11:27 pm
Title: LSD.
Location: Your Girlfriend's Pants.

Re: Escaped Konvict!

Post by Small Sized Duck »

Then why did he leave jail?
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Bartimaeus
Tyrannical Drama Queen
Posts: 4423
Joined: November 19th, 2007, 5:05 am

Re: Escaped Konvict!

Post by Bartimaeus »

Haha, very clever, :D

As for the, "why did he leave", well, it's still jail.
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Vegas
Shopping Maul USA Creator
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Joined: January 18th, 2007, 11:07 am
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Location: Calgary Canada

Re: Escaped Konvict!

Post by Vegas »

heard it before, but a nice twist for the man whos about to be rode hard and put away wet.
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Madara
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Posts: 311
Joined: October 26th, 2009, 10:22 pm
Title: mib^

Re: Escaped Konvict!

Post by Madara »

LOL XDDD

haha i couldnt stop laughing so funny :lol: :lol: :lol:
Spoiler:
(06:05:25) UndeadxAssassin: SLANDER
(06:05:32) Bartimaeus: See you later, Undead. I miss talking to you. Message me once in a while, :<
(06:05:37) UndeadxAssassin: /quit Bartimaeus!
(06:05:40) ChatBot: Madara logs into the Chat.
(06:05:49) ChatBot: Madara has been logged out (Kicked).
(06:05:54) Bartimaeus: >>
(06:06:02) Bartimaeus: He doesn't deserve to see my good bye to you, :D
(06:06:23) UndeadxAssassin: I'm still here because I wanna see his response
(06:06:29) UndeadxAssassin: :D
(06:06:31) ChatBot: Madara logs into the Chat.
(06:06:31) Bartimaeus: Oh.
(06:06:35) Bartimaeus: lol
(06:06:43) Madara: So should i say something dramatic
(06:06:48) Madara: or what satisfies u ?
(06:06:48) Bartimaeus: Nope.
(06:06:50) Bartimaeus: Because nobody cares.
(06:06:52) Bartimaeus: :3
(06:06:57) UndeadxAssassin: What a let down
(06:06:58) UndeadxAssassin: I'm leaving.
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