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PostPosted: June 12th, 2008, 5:30 am 
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Joined: August 9th, 2007, 6:55 pm
Posts: 31
To all the people who fulfill my requests :).
Image
Why do rednecks win the lottery.....Wow, I have to see a redneck get shot now...Ill find one for all of us :)
Non
Athletic ..................................Even one for nerds! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw
Sports ................................................................Sorry no members in this one /: I dont need a warning/ban T.T
Created .......................................Motherfuckers thought you'd get away didnt you? http://www.redneck-humor.com/video/redneck-hunting
Around
Rednecks

Spoiler:
xantans defenitly being in the expansion as well requested people :)

Question: How do you know if your a redneck?
Answer: You've been married and have the same inlaws.
Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?
Answer: He builds a house beside it.
Question: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
Answer: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Image <--King_Bushido might be the one in the center =P
Yes that'll stop those racist bastards from stereotyping you!

Hey did you hear about the black man who died going 100MPH?
He stuck out his head and his lips beat him to death
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR
Poor
Old
Nigger
Thinks
Its
A
Cadillac

What do you call black people on the moon?
A problem
What do you call 100 black people on the moon?
Problems
What do you call all the black people on the moon?
Problem Solved
A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Hey, Grandmother, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Niggers!" (This ones for showwing a redneck get shot)
Image
That guy does my shingling now!
Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
Society.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
Image
ASIANS ON THE MENU!

Signs for americans and europeans in asia What the ...?
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
At a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive sideways
On a menu in a Hong Kong restaurant: Spanish omelet (tomatoes, mushrooms, onion) Omelets surprise (two parsons)
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

How do Chinese parents decide on a name for their newborn?
Throw a quarter in the garbage disposal. Ching Chong Chin Chang

Two Americans and a Asian are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whites pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In hell Satan asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Asian picked a coconut."
Image
READ THIS AFTER FIRST TWO MUSLIM JOKES
Spoiler:
Osamas the bitch in that relationship, So whos doing the foreplay? :)

Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.
Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.
Did you hear about the prostitute who came out of a bar and was stoned? She didn't survive.

Clinton is the one who really fucked over osama
Osama bin Laden found a bottle on the beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
"Infidel, don't you know who I am? I need nothing from a lowly woman," barked bin Laden.
The genie pleaded, "But master, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to this bottle forever."
Osama thought a moment. Then, grumbling about the inconvenience of it all, he relented. "OK, OK, I want wake up with three white, American women in my bed in the morning. I have plans for them." Giving the genie a cold glare, he growled, "Now, be gone!"
The genie, annoyed, said "So be it!" and disappeared back into the bottle. The next morning, Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his leg was broken and he had no health insurance.

Why was Jesus born Jerusalem?
He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin anywhere else in the middle east
Act VI RELEGION
Image
Expansion Pack Required, Please Install Disc 6 to Continue...

PROLOGUE
Thanks to many websites, Friends, Family, and of course Wc3edit staff for helping us abuse Warcraft III!!!
Many of these jokes are Editted, passed down, told by friends, and found on websites (One was actually made originally by one of my friends)
IF, you are expecting an expansion I will only proceed to make an expansion if people found this thread hilarious and it gets positive feedback (Note I love being critiqued so if you have advise please also comment)
Image
If you want to copy and paste any jokes your welcome to, same with pictures I dont care i'd just rather you not take credit for them and give credit to the acredited people in Prologue which are mainly Websites, and on the side friends/family.


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PostPosted: June 12th, 2008, 10:17 am 
If u want to provoke me, i'll give u a Warning for insulting / provoking a Super Moderator.
Also, explain this Joke, i'm not a Racist, so explain it or i'll warn u for racism.


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PostPosted: June 12th, 2008, 11:06 pm 
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Joined: December 10th, 2007, 10:50 pm
Posts: 468
Location: USA
Title: The Professional
Haha, there are a lot of good jokes in this thread and racism jokes imo are the best of any joke. It reminds me of David Chappelle and his jokes and the reason why he is so funny is because he throws out so many racism jokes and in return breaks the barrier which is a good thing :D

Rajin wrote:
Two Americans and a Asian are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whites pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In hell Satan asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Asian picked a coconut."


Lol, I think this one was toned down or got screwed up from being told ear to ear so many time.

Originally it went like this.

Three men named Jack, John, and Harry went to Africa on a hiking trip and got loss in the woods. When they were searching for their way out they ran into a vicious African Tribe. The Tribe chief tells the three men that if they wanted to live they would have to pass a test. The test involved shoving 10 of the same kind of fruit of their choosing up their own ass without flinching or making a noise. So all three men go out into the woods attended by a tribe person. Jack comes back with 10 apples and the chief watched as he started the process. 1... 2... 3.. Jack flinches in pain. The chief orders him to be killed. A few minutes later John comes walking out of the woods with 10 black berries. The chief looks onward as John begins the process. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. and John begins laughing histerically. The chief orders John to be killed. Well, Jack and John meet in heaven. Jack says to John, man you had it made, you could have easily got all 10, why did you start laughing? John replied: I couldn't resist, I saw Harry walking in with 10 Pineapples!

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PostPosted: August 18th, 2008, 7:32 pm 
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Joined: May 28th, 2008, 5:20 am
Posts: 78
Rajin wrote:
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR


If his brother is so fast, why is he behind him?


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PostPosted: October 7th, 2008, 1:14 am 
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Some Honorary Title

Joined: June 8th, 2007, 5:08 am
Posts: 1781
Title: Angry Bird
wow tears coming out when I am laughing.

p/s
you are so lucky this is a german website.
If someone in my country jokes about muslim they are going to jail.


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